52 List

The last time I blogged in 2010, I wrote about value and the realization that stuff is just that-stuff. A lot has happened in our life since that moment. Let me just recap: I finished my MAT from LA Tech and went to work for Stanley High School. I have since then moved to Haughton High School. We worked on remodeling our home which became an overwhelming and never ending chore. We leased our home to friends and moved into an apartment. We downsized. We lost my mom. We lost Margie and Steve's dad. I lost two very dear friends to cancer. Relationships were broken. We were disappointed and hurt over and over and over. We decided that we needed to let some people go in order to find our own way. We changed churches-twice. We lost another great man that I counted as a dad. We even lost our dog, Maggie. We gained a precious grand daughter and a long awaited grandson. The Lord gives and He takes away. Every relationship has impacted our life in some way, but the stuff in our life is still that, stuff.

We find ourselves full circle. We are back in our house, trying to work on it and repair it, but that feels pointless in light of the city's intent to buy our property. We still have stuff to weed through from our parents and an estate to settle. All we really want to do is sell everything and go on a road trip, and that adventure is calling our name. We have started clearing out and selling what we don't need. We are praying for both the houses and the inherited camper to sell this school year. We made some steps toward downsizing 3 years ago, but now we are serious.

Today is my 52nd birthday. The weeks leading up to this birthday had me thinking...its time to live. Its time to experience some of those things that keep getting put on the back burner. I started a 52 list-a list of 52 things that I haven't done yet in my lifetime that I might want to try. Some are simple things and others involve taking a trip. Some involve stretching my mind, others my body, others my will. This year may be the year I finally find some element of balance in my life. It might be the year that I learn to love myself unconditionally and let go of some of the pain and rejection that has haunted me. As I sit here knowing the house needs dusting, the laundry is piled up, papers need grading, and there is a host of unfinished projects everywhere I look, I have to ask myself, what does any of that matter if all my life is about "doing" and not about "living"?

First thing on my 52 list: Blog again