Today is the Day

A year ago today is the day that we got the call that Larry Ward had passed away. My husband was packed and had set the alarm for 3:30 in the morning to head down to Ft. McCoy to see his dad, but not minutes after the alarm went off, he got the call. January 14, 2017 was the day that Larry took his last breath. Last year, we had tickets to the Shreveport Orchestra. Since there was nothing we could do now but sort through the aftermath, Steve made the hard decision to go with me to the concert before heading south. It was a hard decision to make since in our 34 years of marriage, we had always jumped in the car, dropped everything, and showed up whenever anyone called. Our life had been about trying to minister to our family, and then my mother died. The week before she died, she had a stroke and was aspirating on her food. She needed me to jump in my car then, and I didn't. I was so angry at always being that person in the family. My siblings rarely showed up, and I thought it was their turn. We got the call  on January 5, 2015 that she wasn't going to make it and went to Florida. We were by her bedside as was my siblings when she left this world on January 6, 2015-Three King's Day. The whole situation impacted my life  in ways that I could not begin to verbalize here. I learned a lot about my self, my family, and  at that moment, I knew that my life had to change. I  fought anger for days and weeks and years after that loss. In an attempt to deal with those emotions, we walked away from who we were and quit answering those calls. I changed my number. I didn't and haven't talked to my brother since. Am I still angry,? No. Would I talk to him now, three years later? Yes, but really, we don't have anything to talk about. He may still be there person he was, but I am not the person I was.

As the 2017 year came to a close, and I began this 52 journey, I realized that all those moments of my 52 years, good and bad, have brought me to this moment in time. They formed me. Coming to terms with who I am because of where I have been is allowing me to move forward to the person I want to be. As I reflected on these memories, I knew that I wanted to honor the lives of those who have impacted our life. Larry's life impacted us. My mother's life impacted mine. Since Three Kings holds so many specific memories, it was a day I wanted to include in my new traditions.

This year's Three King's story begins with another story: My mom had this potbelly pig that according to my other brother wasn't supposed to get very big. This pig grew to be over 400 lbs. It was huge. My mom loved Georgia girl. She lived in the house with mom, a little Jim Walters house that was less than 800 sqft. We so picked on mom about that pig. We had to step over her to go anywhere in that house. She was a cranky thing too and would nip at your heels. It is such a funny memory now that I can't think of mom without thinking about that pig. So....this year, Three Kings was all about pigs. All the grands got one gift that was pig related. Vivie got a big eyed Ty pink pig, Aaron got a pig game, Seth got a Fisher Price farm book. Steve got me the greatest fluffy pink pig slippers and the cutest pig coffee cup.

That brings me to my sister. Our relationship hasn't been ideal. I was more of her go to than an equal. We spent a few years not really talking much even though we live about 15 minutes from each other. Stepping out of the "go to" role in her life has brought us to an equal footing. We are learning how to just be sisters. I knew my sister really struggled with  the loss of our mom, and I wanted to share my new tradition with her. I was trying to figure out what to get her. I had been looking at all things pig. I found pink tea mugs at Burlington, but somehow manage to break them by the time I got home. Hmm....looked up a crochet pattern and thought I would make her some slippers which was a bit ambitious. I even bought the yarn...maybe for her birthday, but in two weeks, not happening. I really wanted my sister to have a gift, the right gift.

Clearing out my email one day right after Christmas, I come across a Build a Bear ad. I browsed through it and discover their promise pets line, a pink pig! I was beyond excited. I instantly knew that was what I wanted to do. I read through it and found that I could order online and record a message. Steve had just emailed me the voice mail I saved from my mom. I am the only sibling that had that recording, and I wanted to share that with my sister. Long story short, I ordered us both a pig. I named them both Bobbie and gave them my mom's birth date, Nov. 13. I also recorded a personal message for Sonja as an intro to mom's message.

On Three King's Day, my sister came over for dinner. She walked in and saw this pig sitting on my couch. I watched her looking at it. I have no idea what was going through her mind at that very moment, but I walked over to it and picked it up. I handed it to my sister and told her it was hers. I picked mine up too. I told her we have twins! We played the recording. The emotion was evident on her face. It was the right gift at the right time.

We had hunky soup, King Cake, and Jello Cake (my sister's first time to make it like mom used to). A new tradition has been established. I loved everything about the day. It was a day of remembrance. New Year's Resolutions might be a thing for some people, but for me, looking back is looking forward.

Today is the day, not unlike any other day, but it is another day to remember where we have been so we know where we are going.