The Question?

I could not begin to tell you how many times in the last two weeks someone has asked how we are handling the "empty nest?" I have to laugh...handling? Seriously...are people really that wrapped up in the lives of their children that they go into melt down when they move out? Is that because they forgot that they only had their children for a little while and then they had to live with each other? How sad that is to me!

My husband and I have spent a lifetime working on our relationship because we knew there would be a day when it would be him and I again. Sitting around our table the other night, Steve, Tonia, and I discussing relationships and traditions...Tonia commented that we (Steve and I) are the topic of many discussions. That we actually have a marriage that works-that was an incredible compliment to us! Didn't have any idea so many were watching. We do indeed have a marriage that works, and it wasn't easy getting here. We love and respect each other, struggle with communicating just like everyone else, but choose to commit to each other and to live in such a way that we are constantly changing.

The inbetween years of raising children wasn't really about raising children, it was about raising adults. We raised our kids to live as independent adults. There was an adjustment period where we had to come to terms that they weren't who we thought they were. We of course went through disillusionment as our dreams (maybe I should say-fantasies) were shattered. The ones that we had bought into all those years that if we did "A" our children would do "B." Yea, right...don't buy into that one-it aint' gonna happen. It didn't end the way we thought it would, and it isn't exactly the way we would want it to be even now, but it is what it is. They are adults, living their lives as they choose to live them...we shared our lives with them for 20+ years, now it is up to them whether they want to share theirs with us. Either way...we are still living...

Speaking of sharing, we were greatly blessed by our new son-in-law on rehearsal dinner night when he got up and gave a mini speech telling everyone how he met our family and what he thought about us. He complimented our relationship-and we were blessed. They kept in touch with us while they were on their honeymoon, sharing pictures with us of their adventures. They also spent the better part of the weekend with us. We were encouraged by their desire to spend some of this labor day weekend with us before real life kicks in! Everyone is back at work today and back at school this week!

We haven't lived our married life for anyone else, but we have lived, and we have thoroughly enjoyed each other. When we crawl into bed at night, cuddle next to each other, and often talk about all kinds of stuff, I know I am a blessed woman, and I know that being married to my best friend has been what has carried me through every twist and turn these past 26 years!

We look forward to this fall when we are going to run away here and there...discover some new things about life and each other! How are we handling our empty nest? No handling required....we have been preparing for over 2o years for this moment and we were ready!