Loving It When...

I absolutely love it when God changes my plans to accomplish His. He does that quite frequently, probably because I am definitely a planner. I plan out my days (in my mind usually). For example: Last Thursday was my hubbies birthday. I was feeling pretty down because I had such a full day and wasn't going to be able to spend it with him. I whined a bit and then headed towards conquering my ridiculous schedule. I dropped Caitlyn off at the sitter, headed to SCA to spend a few hours there. That was incredibly productive, but time to go....jumped in the jeep to check off the next box of the to-do list...which was Bryd High. I have a bunch of bunch of bunch of observation hours this term, and Byrd is where I am assigned. I get there, praying for a parking spot because parking there is ridiculous! Yay, a spot, but....it is pouring. I am just not a big fan of being wet. I had class that night and a midterm, and it was Steve's birthday, and there I was sitting in Byrd's parking lot weighing the options looking out at the pouring rain!

The rain wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to walk so far carrying so much "stuff" AND an umbrella in dress clothes KNOWING I am going to be soaked no matter what I do. After a few minutes, abandoned idea and headed home. I got home in time to take some steaks out of the freezer and make steak for lunch for my hubbie. Sweeeeeet....that was amazing...that I got to spend lunch with him and study for my midterm. I was so much more relaxed and probably did better on that test, not to mention, I completed a few assignments which so needed to be done.
Whew...much better plan.

Today, had a similar plan: Get up, get to Byrd by about 8:30 and make up some of those observation hours. I got there, drove around, searched for a parking space (which again-ridiculous!). I ended up parking behind the school, behind the football field, which meant quite a walk, AGAIN in the rain. Hmm...sat there a minute, read my Bible, shot up some needed prayers, and considered my options. I opted to skip out AGAIN! (Only 6 weeks into the quarter, still got time to get those hours in). I get home where it is so quiet.

My plan was to reverse the order of my day, come home and get some stuff done, go to Byrd, then to work, and home again. However, still raining. I have gotten a lot done today including some school reading and a pop in on Gary Smalley. The articles dealt with issues specific to me, which I would not have read if I had not been here. As I am sitting here, my sister pops in. She is off on Mondays and needs to go to LSUM to drop off records. For her to do that, she is going to have to walk a zillion miles in the rain. Darn rain! So...I am here, no immediate plans, think I will run her over there so I can loop the parking lot while she runs in and neither of us get wet!

God's plan much better than mine...loving it....

Condensing....so to speak

I keep trying to streamline my life, get everything into managable bites, do what I can do with what I have, so you may of noticed that this is the only blog accessible. Not really feeling like writing, could be that I am so taxed right now with school, housekeeping, house reconstruction, school observations, my case study, but there is light-BRANSON.

Every time we have planned a trip for us something has happened. I think we have planned a Branson trip every year for the last five or six. Right after we confirmed this one, we started having pet issues which has really ate into our income. Hundreds of dollars later, because other people's pets run away or just die, but not ours. They just cost us thousands of dollars-makes me wonder what in the world we are doing. The benefit does not outweigh the cost AT ALL. We are seriously coming to the end of this pet thing. We are about to pack them all up and drop them off anywhere, somewhere....other than here.

As we are preparing for this little gettaway, I am both excited and anxious. Our resources are not endless, and we are at the point where frugality is in order, but not the time I want to resurrect my frugal spirit. My hubbie's birthday is tomorrow, and I want to do something, and Branson is next week, and I want to go and do.....[sigh]...not really about all of that. It is just about us, being together and sharing our life. There is nothing we really need right now, except time.

Keeping Love Alive!

Ways to Keep Your Love Alive
By Gary Smalley

1. Praise is such a great gift, and it's so easy to give. So look at the things that make your spouse and others unique and develop the habit of praising them for those special things.

2. Every painful trial is like an oyster, and there is a precious pearl—a personal benefit—in every one; every single one.

3. Don't go it alone. Welcome fresh insights of other perspectives—from extended family, friends, good marriage books, or a qualified marriage counselor.

4. In a mutually satisfying relationship, both people's needs are expressed, and they have the flexibility to give and take.

5. Honor goes hand in glove with love, a verb whose very definition is doing worthwhile things for someone who is valuable to us.

Perusing and Purpose

I am so not a morning person and after a day of run, run, run, some slow down time is in order. This morning I kind of rolled out of bed (only because I needed a trip to the potty) and then sat down to check mail before Caitlyn woke up. I get online devotions and sometimes I hit links inbedded in the mail. This morning I went to one of the author's pages and persused through that. I discovered a 3 part article of marriage. They were short so I printed them.

While I was doing that, my hubbie was getting ready for work. I am still in my pjs which I plan to be in for a hot minute this morning (they are cute anyway, and I am not indecent!) He bent over to kiss me goodbye and.......(so not telling). He came back in just a minute ago to change his shirt so I got to see him (and kiss him) again this morning!

I went and got the article off the printer and set about reading it. (Caitly is up now so it is a little more challenging doing anything!) The article brings out some points that Steve and I have already discovered in our relationship, but because we are creatures of habit, don't always implement. We KNOW what we need to do, but life gets in the way, and that is STILL true even at this stage of our relationship.

She, Mary Southerland, says in part 2, "We all exchange our lives for something. We just need to make sure that the exhange is a worthy one." She is taling about the busy schedules, the things we invest in that become our lives. After all minutes turn into hours, hours into days, and days into years-before we know it, we have lived our life, and it is coming to a close. Our life is busy-with rebuilding the house, having house guests, working and going to college, yep, busy, and it always has been (as far back as I can remember). That busyness gives way to exhaustion, and there is no more time left over for us as a couple. So....we did indeed make a decison this past year.

This time is for us. We are going to spend it doing what we do together. We are rebuilding our house together. (Now, if he would only do my homework!) We are having to say no more often, step back from church ministry more often than we used to (remembering that we are only two people), and having to separate ourselves from relationshps that "suck the life out of us." We have a lot of those, and those relationships rob from our time, our energy and our thought life and keep us from enjoying what should be intimate times in our relationships. We are having to purpose in our life that we will put our marriage first, and we will say no to whatever gets in the way of our "us."

Here are the points Southerland makes in "Making Marriage Work."

1. When the going gets tough, stay put.

2. Accept your mate and change yourself.

3. Spend time alone with your mate.

4. Laugh a lot.

5. Guard your mind.

6. Make communication a priority.

7. Discover your mate's love language.

8. Meet your mate's sexual needs.

9. Become your mate's strongest fan.

10. Cultivate replenishing relationships.


You can read the entire article at: http://www.marysoutherland.com/content/view/45/65/


You and Me baby...You and Me! (And Branson in two weeks! Yay! Finally!)

Life Management

Sometimes I just don't feel like blogging. Sometimes it is because I don't want to open up myself to criticism; other times it is just because life is completely overtaking me, and I can't think straight. This is one of the latter.



I have had so much to do lately that down time has been almost non-existent, but I do steal away for a few minutes to read (something other than education). My "snatch" read selection right now is Elizabeth George's Life Management for Busy Women. I read it when I am taking a bath, sitting in the bathroom while Caitlyn is in the bath, or in between moments when I need a break.



The book is broken into areas important for the Christian woman to manage, ie...marriage, health, family, fiances, etc...Right now, I am in the family section. She references from Titus 2:4 that we are to love our husband and our children, and she uses Biblical women as examples for us to live our life by. She also addresses extended family relationships. Once in awhile, I really question myself. I try to live by the truth of God's Word, but sometimes I am just not sure I have gotten or am getting it right. Sometimes I KNOW I have missed it, but the area of family is so important and the area I have struggled in the most lately-well the last few years anyway.

I had this vision of what it would be like when my kids were grown and married. I raised my kids with the importance of family. I went out of my way, often, to include our extended family-both sides, his and mine, even though we lived so far away. Steve's family left such an impression on me when we were first married. His family was so unlike mine. I didn't even know what our family didn't have until I met his. My brother told me the other day that my problem was that when I saw what a family could be, I was so eager for everyone to have that experience, unfortunately, it is not what everyone wants. Or they want family but in a conditional sense, as long as it doesn't cost them anything. That is the area I have had trouble grasping.

In this chapter as she addresses all these relationships, she says one thing that connects all of them: As Christian women, we must "nurture our relationships..." with our parents, our in laws, our siblings, our children, our aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, grandchildren. "These family connections, ordained by God, are important to Him. Nurturing them is not optional. No, it is commanded. And our spiritual maturity is revealed by whether or not we get along with parents and in-laws" (pg. 214). "Our relationships with sisters and brothers, with other in-laws, and with extended family are still relationships with family that must be lovingly, willfully, and thoughtfully nurtures and cultivated. Don't worry so much about whether or not you hold the same beliefs or see eye-to-eye on every issue. Instead, spend time in prayer for each one, asking God to show you the how's of love" (pg. 214).

Wow...I haven't always gotten along with my parents, extended family, or inl aws. Sometimes I still don't, but after a moment to regroup, I reach out again. It is my responsibility despite my pain, my confusion, my anger. My inability to set boundaries doesn't reflect them, it reflects my maturity. It doesn't mean I can't have a relationship with them, despite our differences. I don't have to get my feelings hurt. I can accept them, all of them, in God's grace and because of God's love!

I am so proud of Katherine. We were sitting at Starbucks last night discussing relationships, and she reminded me that I have always taught her to be the better Christian, do the right thing because it is right, keep an open door and reach out. She is doing that in her own family and in her in law relationships. She is building a relationship with her mother-in-law even though she is very different from me. I am glad for her, for her husband, her mother-in-law, and her future children who will benefit from those relationships.

Life management....working on that. I am glad God continues to point me in the right direction. I am glad He continues to teach me and enable me to grow in His grace, through every trial and every pain. I am so thankful for my husband and who he is in my life!

Quiet-Just a Moment

It is quiet in the house today. Yesterday, anything but. I was getting Caitlyn fed yesterday when my sister called. Her husband's van broke down and they were stranded. The rest of the day became a "rob Peter to pay Paul" kind of day (as my brother so eloquently put).


He had plans for the day as did I. We had to alter those and make adjustments to accommodate my sister's need. It was crazy chaos most of the day, but the tasks that needed to be completed were.

That day our family came together. Someone had a need, and we did what we could. I, because I am learning to set boundaries and priorities, stopped and called my brother before I made a decision, and then I talked to my husband. Usually, or I should say, in the past, I jumped right in. There is a need-I can meet it-get on it. However, doing so doesn't always help a situation, and often it enables people to live the way they are living, even if not productive to themselves.

Ironically enough, Steve and I were driving home later, and on the radio was a talk show all about setting boundaries. The speaker made the point that not setting boundaries is essentially the same as enabling. I had never thought of it from that angle, and realizing I have done that in my relationships has changed my priorities. I can't be the all in all for anyone. I don't have unlimited resources. I don't have unlimited knowledge. I don't really know how things are going to turn out.

What I do know is the importance of family. I really enjoy having my daughter nearby. I am glad my brother and sister are here. I am glad for the opportunity to spend time with them and share moments with them. I am equally sad that my sons and their wives are not here, and that we don't have the same opportunities with them. I miss watching Aaron grow and explore. I miss watching my sons grow into men. I miss seeing God's hand in their lives on a regular basis. I don't know what God is doing or teaching them. I feel the void of their absence. That must be the essence of empty nest, feeling that void that children once filled.

Quiet...not often around here, and not lately for sure. Once in awhile it is nice, but there is such a thing as too quiet!