Value

What really matters? It sure isn't stuff. Going through these past two years has been a lesson in just that. The night of the flood, I kept reminding myself that it was just temporal. We lost alot, and it really wasn't the stuff that was the issue, not so much the loss, but the wedding through it all. It was the clean up, the chaos, the incredible mess that lay before us that was overwhelming and brought tears. How would we ever do this, I had no idea, but we did.

We did. We tore out walls, floors, looked inside spaces that were just gross. Water bugs falling out of the ceiling, rats running under the couch, oen walls and floors meant all kinds of critters, mold, and more mold, wet insulation, warped paneling...pretty nasty.

And cars...we sure went through the cars. To count we have gone through 6 vehicles and are in two new ones. That wasn't all flood mind you, three were wrecked. Nonetheless, it is the first time in our life that we have owned two really dependable vehicles. I am loving it, but lest I forget what is really important, God gives us opportunity to share them, and we do. We remember the other days, the ones when we didn't have a good vehicle. We remember the days when we were solo. There didn't seem to be any help in sight, but God hadn't abandon us. He brought us through and He provided.

We are nearing the end of this adventure. We are taking the walls out of the last room that has to be done. It has been just over two years. The walls have dried out and so has the insulation, but the mold is there. The outside of the house looks pretty rough and neglected being as so much of our attention has gone into the inside. I guess we really aren't nearing the end...just the end of a phase, but my what we have gained.

We have grown as people, as a couple, and as Christians. We understand what it means to rely on God and trust what we can't see. So little phases us. We just know God has it, and no matter what it looks like, we just know...it isn't about us, it is about God. There is peace in that. God has so provided our every need. We have more income than we have ever had. We are able to share our resources, our time, and our ability and really....that is the best part of the adventure. Another need...not a blink...what matters, what is of greatest value? It isn't stuff. It is sharing with others what God has given to us, and when we do, we get to give back to God, and when we do, He keeps giving. That is value.

Really?

Has it really been a month since I have had anything to say? There are times in our life when silence is the way to go, and since G0d knows that I don't tend to "be still" without some prompting, He prompts!
School let out....me with big plans for what I was going to accomplish this summer....and then it began....the doctor's visits. I ended the school year with a horrid sinus infection, and at the same time had contracted poison ivy. Nearly a month later, three rounds of steroids, and lots of antibiotics, benadryl, and antihistamines, I think I might be on the way back up. I sure hope so because this is NO way to spend my very short summer.

Steve and I are back at work on the house. We are finally in the house (at least for the moment) by ourselves and can work at our own pace. We brought over our stuff from storage and have begun weeding through that. I am amazed at what we have that I am not sure why we do! Needless to say, the goodwill pile has been growing.
The guest room and office are such a mess as we work through this stuff. This morning I decided I had had enough of the living room lack of order and since I had unpacked some things that went in there, decided to clean it. What fun I had cleaning it and "moving in." After two years, I am getting to decorate a little, and I am thrilled!


The rooms aren't the same anymore. The color schemes are different. What we like is different than it was back then, so we ponder over what to keep and what to ditch. In this latest treasure hunt, I discovered the church made of Popsicle sticks that Daniel made, my Spanish keepsakes that literally came from Spain, my mantel clock from Italy, and my welcome plate made of solid copper straight from Turkey. Those are priceless items and definitely keepers, but where to put them???
The church went back in its original spot on the book shelf behind the couch. The clock went back in the living room pretty much where it was preflood, and the rest, hmmm...I am thinking my "blue" room (Katherine picked out the color before she got married because it was her room) might be my Spanish room. Blue isn't much of a Spanish color but it just might work.
I love going through this stuff, not because the stuff has any real inherent value-it doesn't- but it represents moments in our life together. I look at that little church and remember Daniel deciding he wanted to make it, so he did. He designed it, built it, and painted it. It is no doubt one of my most treasured possessions. (You really have to see it to appreciate it!). I look at that clock and remember when Steve was TDY to Italy. Everytime he went TDY, he brought something back, hence the welcome plate, the shepherd lamps, the clock, the puzzle box, the mink blankets.

I am pretty sure that we are getting to the best part of this remodel!

Not quite done yet. We started taking the walls down in the last room last night, and emptied out the vanity in the main bathroom so we could get started on that. Lots of details left but we are getting there....and....when we do.....we will need a new hobby!

School Is Out

My goodness, I could not have imagined how hard I would work and how exhausted I would be. These past few months have been a blurr as I have studied, planned, dealt with students very much set in their own patterns of thinking, my own homework, my relationships.....and I could keep going, but enough already!

I went into this situation as a learning opportunity, not sure how it would turn out, and honestly, there were quite a few moments when I just wasn't sure that high school math was going to be my thing. I certainly love a challenge, but attitude, attitude, attitude, all day every day-just a bit tough. Lesson planning got easier, but the day never seemed to go according to the plan. It made me wonder about the point of it all! Looking back on it, I am so thankful for all the experiences of my lifetime that led me to this point and the support of my greatest fan, who never lets me forget that teaching is my purpose in life; it is what I was created to do; it is living in my sweet spot. I have a new contract and new challenges before me as I plan this summer. Prayer is where I am going to start. I looked over my roster yesterday before I finished up and took a moment to start praying for my kids....the ones I have already shared with and those I expect to have next year. I packed up my teacher manuals, the school handbook, and anything else that looked helpful. I have to master Algebra I, Algebra II, Geometry, Advanced Math, my calculator and my smartboard! My mission: to get it all straight in the two months I have and go in ready to make a difference.

On a personal note: I am so glad to have some me and hubby down time. I didn't have to rush out the door this morning which gave us some time together, and then there is lunch and dinner together. It isn't all the big things which I treasure, but the small moments that turn into a lifetime. I see a datenight in our very near future!

Considering the Past Few Weeks

Welp....the jeep is in being repaired and should be good as new shortly. We had to turn in the rental today...kind of sad. I really liked the Impala. I am now borrowing my brother's truck which he is graciously loaning me for the moment. Steve, however, is in a sweet (new to him) F150. It is alot like his old one, but newer, with a few less dings and dents, and few more bells and whistles. It is quite pretty and very manly (do those things go together?)! It is actually the first time since our earliest days that he has picked out a vehicle for himself. I do think it is about time!

In the meantime.....

I have been teaching now for about 2 weeks. YAY...I am making it....whew...lots of sleepless nights right now though as I grade papers and plan lessons. Research, research, research....am loving teacher tube! Today was midterms-and after only two weeks with my kids-wasn't sure how that was going to go. Basically, about 50/50. I had some really good grades and some really bad ones....but none of that was the highlight of my day. My highlight was my first block Algebra class (the freshmen).

I have been stressing to them the importance of teamwork. We are attempting to achieve a sense of camaraderie among our students. I have been teaming them up and calling on the stronger students to aid with the weaker. Yesterday, they took their midterms. Now, from the getgo, I have been shifting responsibility for their learning to them and encouraging them to reach. About half of them were failing when I walked in, and about half of them failed the midterm. Before giving them their midterm results, I passed around a picture of my son (Robert). The picture is from his wedding. (Not related to this story, but it turns out that one of my students dad is a retired marine and his mom is a New York Italian!). I share with them about Rob's struggle his senior year and his decision to join the Marines. I also shared with them the "No man left behind" philosophy and how it relates to them as the Freshmen class. I told them a story he told me about his group getting ready to test and how they helped each other. I couldn't begin to relate here how that came out in the classroom, but it was a teary eyed moment for all of us. After that, I gave them their tests back, worked some problems, discussed with them what they needed to do now, and worked with some individual students. Those making up work went to their desks, and I went about checking on students, grading papers, that kind of thing. I stopped and looked around; several students had pulled up chairs next to struggling students and were helping them. I took in the situation, was so proud of them, and fought back tears. One small step for Algebra....one giant leap for the Freshmen Class. Thanks Rob for inspiring another generation. Thanks Rob for inspiring me. They are fruit to your account too. Love ya son!

Horse Anyone?

We are considering "horse power!" After all, they have to be just as durable and cost efficient. Two wrecks in two weeks. Steve goes most of his life without any accidents, and here we are in a two week stretch. Maybe his reflexes are slowing...hmmm...food for thought!

2 weeks this Sunday, we plowed into a truck doing about $9,000 worth of damage to our jeep. We however got out with barely a

scratch. That was our first air bag experience. That next Monday we were in a rental and on our way to Florida. We got word while we were in Florida that the jeep was repairable, but it would take a few weeks. That was good news, because we were already dreading new car shopping (although, I am enjoying this Impala I am driving with its dual a/c controls and remote start!).

Today, my first day in my new high school classroom, as I am driving home and filling Steve in on the day's happenings, he yells
and the phone goes dead. I am thinking, "that can't be good." I wait and wait and wait. He calls me back to tell me he has just been hit. He was driving on I20 when a car on his left hits the guard rail, bounces off and hits him, sending him sliding and spinning down the interstate. As he is trying to compensate and straighten the truck out, he gets hit a few more times by the same driver who has lost control of their vehicle. Finally, they both come to a stop. He gets out, checks on her, calls 911 and directs interstate traffic till the police arrive (LOL-only as I attempt to picture the scene...and he is not a happy camper, not laughing a bit).

He calls our insurance (yet again) and assures them this one was not his fault (Still...LOL), and they tell him he has to get a rental because the driver's side door is caved in and will not open. Ok...so off he goes tomorrow to get ANOTHER rental while BOTH our vehicles are in the shop! FYI....we are getting to know the people at Yokem and Enterprise quite well.

I did tell him that he is certainly going to desperate means to get a new vehicle....it would be simpler to just pick a new one out and buy it...or there is that horse option.

It Can Always Get Worse....

Even the worst of days could be worse....so I am told...and am sure is a real possibility! That whole do over thing I mentioned in my last post-still thinking that might not be a bad idea; however, this past week has been one of those weeks I do not want to do again!!!

Caitlyn was in the hospital for a week with pneumonia. We were in and out of there helping with her, and trying to make it possible for Tonia to go to work. In the midst of that, and exhaustion already setting in for everyone, we get a phone call. My mom is having surgery-which we knew-but weren't getting the correct information. We are weighing, go or don't go? It is Sunday week now and the decision has to be made. As we are heading to lunch on Valentine's Day, discussing all of this, we get in a car wreck. The air bags deploy, the cabin fills up with smoke of some kind, and we are sitting there stunned. Steve takes stock, makes sure we are both ok, and then tells me we have to get out of the car, which we do. As it turns out, our dear friends were a few car lengths back, had already pulled over, and were waiting on the police. The police were there in seconds, the car was towed, and our friends took us to lunch and back home. We changed clothes, went to the hospital and stayed with Caitlyn till late, and then came home to do laundry. So the week begun.

These kind of things are supposed to come in threes, but I am sure we were more in the six or seven range. Steve spent the following day getting the rental settled while I watched Caitlyn so Tonia could go to work. At 4ish when Tonia got back, ran back to the house, packed clothes, jumped back in the rental and headed to Florida. We arrived at Eglin AFB at about 4 am, got to the room, took a shower, got dressed and went to the hospital. I could give you a blow by blow but it would be too dreary, so let me sum it up mom had surgery, came through that, is in a regular room right now, and amidst the drama and lots of it, there was chaos, tears, lack of sleep, and GOD.

It was more than evident God was at work in the situation, in our lives, and the lives of my siblings. He provided for us in more ways that can be counted, and although it ended badly (for me anyway), I know that it is all in His plan. He opened doors that should not have been open to us, and made available resources to all of us that should not have been there. What we were able to do in a week should not have been possible. What lies ahead, I have no idea.

I do know, we are home now. Caitlyn is out of the hospital. My mother will be released soon, hopefully to a rehabilitation program. My brothers were phenomenal at a time I really needed them. Katie helped with Caitlyn so Tonia could go to work. My husband was supportive even in my lowest moments. I did get to spend a few minutes on the beach. We slept in bunk beds (quite comical), but didn't sleep much. We are really glad to be home, and were really glad to be in our bed and sleep, sleep, sleep.

A new week....this one is not going to be any easier. I have a job interview on Monday which I had really hoped to be a little more rested for. I have a unit plan due tomorrow which I will spend the rest of this day attempting to accomplish (while my husband surveys the financial damage done during the trip). The unit plan is going to be work enough, but I also have a research paper due on Thursday, yep, and.....a baby shower for my sister tonight at 4:30 that I just have to make! Hmmm....God multiply my time and fill me with wisdom in managing these moments!

With a Bang

This year began with a bang....and I have had moments when I was sure a do-over was not an unreasonable request! Let me sum up our January:

We began the month with Steve sick. He came down with strep throat and bronchitis, after a few trips to the doctor, lots of medications, and two weeks later, he was back to himself (reasonably anyway). Then my turn came. I got a sinus infection that I just could not beat and once that moved into my chest, I knew a doctor's visit was in my future too. I ended up with a sinus infection and bronchitis, lots of meds, and two weeks down with a few setbacks here and there. So I was nursing a sick husband, trying to balance school work and then I got sick; threw that balance right out of whack!

I ended up withdrawing from a class (something I have never done before) so I could get the other two up to speed. This has been a tough term, and I am not sure why. (Might be my really demanding math methods instructor!) My work load has been almost more than I could bear....and in crunch time now. Next quarter, I am only taking one class: middle school math methods, which should be so easy next to this quarter. (two more to go after that)

February is here....the groundhog was right, we definitely have more winter-snow to be exact. We haven't seen snow here in quite some time, and the last time we had snow coverage was back in 2001. It was such an amazing thing to wake up to this blanket of white. It is just beautiful, but cold....and we don't do cold down here! I am reaching to find winter clothes I can wear out and not be freezing! It would be even more perfect if....Caitlyn wasn't in the hospital. She has been sick all week, and yesterday we were really worried about her. We had had trouble getting any fluid down here all week, and yesterday nothing. She wanted to sleep all day, but coughed and coughed and coughed. She ended up being admitted last night for pneumonia. She is one unhappy camper. She has an oxygen line taped to her face and an IV in her arm. Miserable doesn't even begin to describe how she looks and apparently feels. Sadly....her first snow and she can't even get out in it.

Steve was concerned about our house. We aren't built for this weather, and snow is heavy. So far so good, but it is still snowing. We of course took lots of pictures which we will share shortly.

A few positive notes....our den floor is in. We had hoped to be done with the den but sickness and weather holding is us up. We are in the process of putting up wainscoting (sp?) which is requiring us to stain, measure, and install. That was a last minute decision, but it is a den, and I wanted to protect the walls, and NOT be painting all the time. I am pretty pleased with the color and texture of the room. The walls are an off yellow with a little bit of texture. The floor is our original living room floor, dark 6 inch. wood look vinyl planks. They are in on an angle (gluing those down was quite an adventure-that was the stickiest adhesive we have worked with). Would be nice if we could finish up in there this week, but snow makes it a little rough to stain and polyurethane!

Another positive....I have an interview for a teaching position. My advisor had just asked me if I was going to go student teaching or intern. I told her I had no idea. I had such mixed emotions about trying to work and finish school. The MAT is tough, and although lots of people do that, I am sure they are not rebuilding a house too! My friend, Ellen, at Sylvan mentioned it to me, and it sounded like a position that might really be a good one for me. I thought, well, I need to at least call and see what happens, so I did. I sent my application package in Wed. and got a call yesterday about interviewing for it. I was very excited. It is a little bit of a commute, and I am sure if I get the position, I will have some stressful moments (being as I am finishing up a year in someone else's shoes), but know my heart is ready to step out. I have been reading the GLE's and thinking about ways to accomplish this (through God's grace and in His provision) in a way that maximizes my time with these students' and encourages their success.

Steve and I so want to be where God wants us to be, doing what He wants. My prayer has been just that, so if this is the right place, He will let me know. Steve has been teasing me though, said when I go back to work, he is going to quit! :) (right). He wouldn't know what to do with himself!

Well...that is the update....and I have to get going.

Hoping Not a Foreshadowing

This year is certainly off and running, but hope January is not a foreshadowing of what is in store for the year. It has not been a good month so far.
First: Started too fast, hardly time to catch my breath
Second: We are alternating who is sick

Now, where is the fun in that? Steve was sick for two weeks this month, and I am going on a week now. (That is three weeks in to the month) How do we enjoy the beginning of a new year when one or the other of us has been sick nearly the entire month? Add to that the speed at which our lives move, how do we regroup and get going on the right foot? I don't know either. I just know that sick has not been fun, but it does slow us down...considerably....at a time when slowing down is not a positive.

College classes don't wait for the weary, and for some reason this term has been rough too. The load is hard to bear. I am struggling to stay afloat and get done what needs to be done. I am thinking next term...choose wiser! OK...that is it...it is time to lay down and regroup a bit so I can gain enough energy to get these assignments done!

Oh....and what happened to our weight loss commitment and exercise? You can imagine...not happening right now!

Siblings and New Year's Resolution

My brother came by today and had coffee. We have been living in the same area for about 2 years now. When my siblings first came my way, I thought it was a blessing. It wasn't long before I was really wondering if being this close to family was a good thing. We had a lot of up and down moments, lots of clashes of ideology and personality. There were many days when I was reminded to be careful what you ask God for!

However, now that we have had the opportunity to really get to know each other: our strengths and weaknesses, we are learning to live with each other and complement each other. We are becoming more open to listening to each other and to respond positively....all because God has been so at work in our lives-accomplishing the same end through different means: Conforming us into Christ's image...which admittedly will not happen here on earth, but with God's molding, we will get closer.

We both made a resolve, independently of each other, to focus on the positive, to accept our siblings for who they are and love them...keeping the bridges open. Him and I come from an abusive, destructive childhood that left deep scars in our lives. It impacted all of our siblings, manifesting itself in different ways. In our discussions today, we came to the conclusion that we won't get over it, but we can come to terms with it, and doing so will allow us to extend grace to everyone else. No one really understands another person until they walk a mile in their shoes, maybe that is why God says to not walk one but two. We made a date-to try and get together for coffee once a week. This Friday, I am going to go see my sister for no other reason then to spend some time with her. That is how relationships are built: time, effort, sharing of hearts and ideas, acceptance of our difference, and loving anyway. Off to a good start on this New Year's Resolution. Lord, grace, give us grace in our words, in our actions, and as an outpouring of your grace towards us.