O How Sweet the Taste

My daughter woke up today with a migraine-her very first. I have one every year or so which allowed me to completely identify with the level of her pain. She tried the bath, heating pad, pain medicines and laying very still in bed. Nothing worked and up

till this evening, she was bed bound.

Her headache changed my schedule for the day. I wasn't able to go to the prison ministry, but I was able to pick up a bit and study for my test that night. Studying is a good thing, and I was glad I did when test time came!

However...it changed her schedule today too. She was supposed to go get her marriage license today with her fiance. She wasn't able to do that, but Jon did come over after work. Their engagement has been plagued by one illness after another. She has had back problems all year resulting in multiple steroid shots in her spine. She has had mono, strep throat, sinus infections, and then today...a migraine. ((Ms. Molly's sweet godly perspective is that God is protecting them from falling!) Each time she has been down, Jon has showed up with flowers. Today was no exception. He called and asked if he could see her, and then he came with a single red rose. (In the picture he is cutting the stems to put them in a vase.) She was in bed, all snuggled up under her blankets. He came in, with the flowers and lay down next to her (No worries, everyone was dressed, she was under the blankets and he wasn't, and the door was open). It was such a sweet sight. He so dotes on her and cares for her.

As we finish up these last few weeks before the wedding, I am so comforted knowing how much he loves my daughter. I see it in their eyes and hear it in their laughter. Love...love....not just an emotion, but a choice...and the sweetness of it...O taste and see.....

Building Relationships

My dear friend had a fundraiser last night at the skating rink for the adoption of her son. I thought it would be a good time to get out, spend some time with people I love, and support her cause. So...I called up my family and told them about it. My sisters showed with their kids, Kat and Jon came, and so did Tonia and her family. We had a nice group represented, but best of all, we got to spend some time together building relationships.

Relationships take time to build...and effort. There has to be lots of time sharing our hearts and lives. Without that investment, they whither and dry up, often times resulting in a totally changed attitude towards each other. Somehow when you are spending time together in an honest way just being-hearts and lives are watered and we grow.

We grow when we share ourselves, when we give of ourselves to others, when we make those sacrifices that let someone else know that we really do love them and value them. It was just a few hours of no remodeling, no homework, and no wedding planning, but I am sure glad we took those moments for each other.

Friendship and Grace

I really struggled today with the concept of "grace." Grace-getting what we don't deserve and not getting what we do. That idea is so central to our faith in Christ, but yet seems to allude so many I know...not so much the grace we experience at the point of salvation, but the grace we need on a daily basis, and the grace we need to extend to others.

Today was also Katherine's bridal shower. There she was, my little girl, having her hurrah moment, being the princess, surrounded by two very beautiful women.

This picture of them is only one in a line of many. These girls have grown up together. They know each other, their strengths and their weaknesses...but they love each other-grace. It has been said that you can count the number of true friends you have in a lifetime on one hand. Those are the people that know you completely, love you any way, and extend grace when you least deserve it. I don't know that I can fill up one hand yet with those kind of friends, but I do know there have been some very special people in my life. Only a few, but those few have kept me a float. They have allowed me to vent, allowed me to be unreasonable and demanding, have allowed me to cry; they have been there when I needed them to be and just loved me. They have given me grace and in so doing have taught me how to love, how to give, how to sacrifice.

My daughter is one of those people. She can love; she can give; she can extend grace-and those young women that are sharing her day with her-they too are those kind of women. Toni, Tonia, Kayla...you too have taught me grace. I love differently today just because I have known you. I understand more fully what it is to sacrifice just because I have known you. I know what grace means because you have shared your lives with me, because you have been graceful to me, and you have modeled grace in your lives. Thank you ladies, all of you for being the beautiful women you are!

Trusting

Just a reminder this morning that it isn't how I feel, it is what God says. Sometimes I feel like quitting, other times I feel like I could soar...but either way...God is God, and it is in HIM I am trusting.

July 18-19, 2009

When God Doesn't Seem Just

Deuteronomy 32:1-4

Have you ever felt that a situation in your life was an exception to the promises of Scripture? In today's passage, Moses declares that the Lord is faithful and all His ways are just, but we have all been in circumstances that seemed wrong and blatantly unfair. And because God did not intervene, we've struggled to reconcile our experience with Moses' statement about Him.
Scripture is filled with examples of godly people who faced hardships that seemed totally unfair. Joseph was sold as a slave, David was hunted like an animal by King Saul, and the apostle Paul suffered with a "thorn in the flesh" (2 Cor. 12:7-10).

Situations like these can cause us to question whether God is good and just. If left to fester in our minds, these doubts may give way to discouragement. We can easily start thinking, What is the use in serving the Lord? Look what it has gotten me--suffering!

It's important to remember that what we know about God from His Word is more accurate than what we feel. Scripture tells us that God is good and just, so we can know with certainty that He has a fantastic purpose for us in whatever we experience.
God allows each of us to face some trials that we won't understand to our satisfaction this side of heaven. Our job is not to comprehend everything He does and permits, but to know how to respond. He'll make all things right in eternity. In the meantime, trust the Rock when all else is shaky.

In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley

Last Childhood Moments

Yesterday was my daughter's last visit to her Pediatric Rhuematologist. We have made that trip to Arkansas every 4 to 6 months for the past two years. Most of the trips have been just her and I. We have to leave here very early to make the four hour drive to the Arkansas Children's Hospital. Yesterday was no exception-we pulled out at 6 am. (Neither of us are morning people!) Now the way this works is she puts on something comfortable, brings a pillow and blanket, piles into the car and goes back to sleep. I spend the four hours praying, pondering, listening to the radio while she sleeps. Hmmm....and then she drives the trip home. Welp...she stayed awake yesterday and worked on wedding music. She played some she had saved so I could hear it, and then she played a Kenny G CD I had to see what she liked off of it. You can't go wrong with Kenny G, and his whole CD made the cut!

We had lots of girl time to talk about just about everything under the sun. We ran through McD's and grabbed breakfast and still arrived quite early for our appointment. We love this hospital, and we love this doctor. The appointment slip has a bar code on it which you scan when entering. It does all the check in for you on a touch screen. It automatically puts your name up on a large digital board with "waiting" by it. The techs call her back to give her an arm band, check her weight, height, update meds...etc...very fast though! We then go to our room to wait.

The rooms are very kid friendly. On the wall are busy beads. There is a clipboard with color sheets and crayons and kid books in a basket. Kat usually picks out a color sheet to color but not today. She waited on the exam table for her doctor to enter. We went through all the normal stuff. Her doctor congratulated her on her upcoming marriage. Then we were done and on our way home.

One of her very last moments as a kid. In just over five weeks, she will no longer qualify for pediatrics which is all she has ever known. She has had the same pediatrician since she was four years old. Her whole world is changing as she makes this transformation from "girl" to "woman." We will no longer be her whole world, we will no longer be providing for her, we will no longer be the ones she runs to when she hurts or falls down or needs to cuddle up in my bed with me and cry. One last moment of her childhood came too quickly and passed by ever quicker.

Exhaustion Closing In

As time ticks by faster and faster, exhaustion threatens to absolutely consume me! This past week or two, it has been all I could do to keep moving. Wedding plans, house construction, church ministry, work, and in a week-another master's level class (a condensed one month one-how on earth will I get the homework done?) all looming over me like a cloud that threatens to open up and drench me!

The older I get, the more I struggle with being able to juggle everything on my plate. It used to be easy to push until I worked through it, stop, regroup, start again. Now....not so much. My energy level is waning despite the vitamins! The arthritis isn't helping either.

This weekend, the weight of it all was pretty heavy. We are still not in our bedroom, still have so much to do and a lot less time to get it done in. There have been so many family responsibilities, so many things just pulling us in so many different directions. The house has been what has suffered for lack of time or energy to accomplish what we say we are going to do. My husband cleaned up the back a bit, got some wiring for our recessed lighting and the den sheetrocked. It has the first float-might finish that this week! I worked on our room, painting the doors, finishing up the trim and repainting the ceiling (with a little help from my sweet Shawna-she arrived just in time to keep me motivated). I hope, hope, hope to finish up in there today....but I have been saying that for weeks now. And...got to get Kat's room tiled so we can finish up that room...it too is on the agenda for the week. So...we are looking at....moving into our room, getting the den primered, a room tiled....and this next weekend-putting up the baseboards in that room and getting the bathroom fixtures installed. That is a good goal for the week-now if we could just accomplish it all!

Wedding planning....ordered my dress this weekend, we finished up printing invitations. Most of those are going in the mail today. We need to get another vase this week and turn all our glass in to be etched, and I think....we have a slight break after that. Oh..wait, have one more thing to order...almost done. Most of the other stuff is little stuff that we don't need to rush on right now. Maybe....just maybe....we can concentrate on getting the house worked on now! I sure hope so....because that non-stress approach we were shooting for is just about to unravel at the seams.

Every Little Girl's Dream

Does every little girl dream of the fairy tale wedding? It has been a full week or two here with wedding planning at full speed. The clock is ticking, ticking, ticking...and not nearly slow enough!

My sister got married last Friday night. It was not a long drawn out massive planning adventure that Kat's is, but not any less important. We got home from Church last Wed. night after meeting with the pastor of Barron Rd. Baptist Church. He agreed to marry them on that Friday evening.

Naturally we went to work to make the best of that. Kat got busy working with her Aunt's hair, and we went and dug out a bouquet. This one pictured is from Gabrielle's wedding-it was the one Kat (as a bridesmaid) carried. It is quite pretty. We got it out, dusted it off and showed it to my sister. My niece, Prudence, took to it and just played with it, walked around carrying it, she did not want to let go of it! Paige on the other hand tried to take it apart! Both girls were just adorable!

My sister did use that bouquet, did get married in a sweet private ceremony attended by both sides of the family. She is on to a new life with all the twists and turns before here shadowed by the life she has left behind.

Kat is of course off and running. With just under six weeks to go, showers coming up, and still items to purchase, I am wondering if we really will get through this stress free. Yesterday was the day we took dresses in to be altered. We also stopped by Libbey Glass to get vases and flutes. A few more purchases, and I think we've got this! Let's see...need one more vase, maybe some tulle, probably more ribbon and greenery, m&m's, fans, the cake topper (sent first one back yesterday-not quite what she had in mind) and a back up cake person, my dress, Steve's tux....am I forgetting anything else? Yea probably....it is about time to scramble!

Did I mention we are still trying to rebuild the house-can't seem to get much done in that arena right now and that is really weighing on me! Goodness...how hard can it be to get a room painted!

Speaking of...got a full day, and so I am off!