Hoping Not a Foreshadowing

This year is certainly off and running, but hope January is not a foreshadowing of what is in store for the year. It has not been a good month so far.
First: Started too fast, hardly time to catch my breath
Second: We are alternating who is sick

Now, where is the fun in that? Steve was sick for two weeks this month, and I am going on a week now. (That is three weeks in to the month) How do we enjoy the beginning of a new year when one or the other of us has been sick nearly the entire month? Add to that the speed at which our lives move, how do we regroup and get going on the right foot? I don't know either. I just know that sick has not been fun, but it does slow us down...considerably....at a time when slowing down is not a positive.

College classes don't wait for the weary, and for some reason this term has been rough too. The load is hard to bear. I am struggling to stay afloat and get done what needs to be done. I am thinking next term...choose wiser! OK...that is it...it is time to lay down and regroup a bit so I can gain enough energy to get these assignments done!

Oh....and what happened to our weight loss commitment and exercise? You can imagine...not happening right now!

Siblings and New Year's Resolution

My brother came by today and had coffee. We have been living in the same area for about 2 years now. When my siblings first came my way, I thought it was a blessing. It wasn't long before I was really wondering if being this close to family was a good thing. We had a lot of up and down moments, lots of clashes of ideology and personality. There were many days when I was reminded to be careful what you ask God for!

However, now that we have had the opportunity to really get to know each other: our strengths and weaknesses, we are learning to live with each other and complement each other. We are becoming more open to listening to each other and to respond positively....all because God has been so at work in our lives-accomplishing the same end through different means: Conforming us into Christ's image...which admittedly will not happen here on earth, but with God's molding, we will get closer.

We both made a resolve, independently of each other, to focus on the positive, to accept our siblings for who they are and love them...keeping the bridges open. Him and I come from an abusive, destructive childhood that left deep scars in our lives. It impacted all of our siblings, manifesting itself in different ways. In our discussions today, we came to the conclusion that we won't get over it, but we can come to terms with it, and doing so will allow us to extend grace to everyone else. No one really understands another person until they walk a mile in their shoes, maybe that is why God says to not walk one but two. We made a date-to try and get together for coffee once a week. This Friday, I am going to go see my sister for no other reason then to spend some time with her. That is how relationships are built: time, effort, sharing of hearts and ideas, acceptance of our difference, and loving anyway. Off to a good start on this New Year's Resolution. Lord, grace, give us grace in our words, in our actions, and as an outpouring of your grace towards us.

A light in our Family!

Sometimes I need a little light, and often that light comes disguised as my daughter. I could never have imagined the difference she would make in my life and the so many other lives she touches.

Ok...she is sitting beside me, Jon beside her, Steve right behind me...I have an audience. Hard to write and hold a conversation at the same time. They are gone now.

A few weeks back I was whining about family members and the lack of thankfulness and how tired I am of trying to do the right thing when obviously no one cares...I wasn't whining to her mind you, but because God definitely has a sense of humor, that very day, she text me wanting my dad's address. I am wondering why, and she tells me she is doing Christmas cards. That would not be remarkable except that for the last 2o years, her entire life, my dad has had opportunity after opportunity to participate in my kids lives and has done little except make excuses. He can't come because.....no birthday cards, no Christmas cards, no phone calls, nothing....in his defense-he HAS had a few positive moments when it looked like he would come around, but nothing ever lasted more than a moment. He isn't the only one in the family that is true of-actually it is true of most of my family. Year after year, holiday after holiday, birthdays, graduations, weddings, the cards go out, the invitations are sent-no response. For over 20 years, I have sent cards out for every noteworthy occassion to every family member hoping that maybe, just maybe it will matter, and it never has.

There is a point when I am just tired of the trying; this has been one of those years. I decided my Christmas card list was going to be alot shorter next year, and then....Kat called for addresses. She sent cards out to all of those family members, all of them. As uninvolved as they have been in her life, she reached out to share hers with them. Conviction....and she gets still sweeter....

Over and over again the last few months, she has risen to the occasion to be a shining light in the lives she shares. The night before her wedding, she is helping with Caitlyn. She is changing her diaper at 11:00 at night and offering to bathe her willing to sacrifice her last few moments before she marries. Her and Jon were at the hospital to see Tonia the day after they were married, right before they left for their honeymoon. They were at the hospital early Sunday morning when Jaden was born. Today....she got up and went with her dad to take Carson to be neutered, at 8 am (that was rough), in the freezing cold when she felt horrible and has felt horrible all weekend. She offered to split the cost with us and planned to go with me to pick him up tomorrow.

There have been so many times when everything we have done in our lives has seemed so futile; as if it really didn't matter. I wonder what if? What if we had chosen differently. What if we had not homeschooled? What if we had both finished our degrees earlier and pursued our own interests while the kids went to daycare and school and afterschool care? What if? I hit those times when I just don't want to reach out anymore. I don't want to blog or facebook. I don't want to foster any more friendships. I don't want to expose myself to any more pain, any more criticism, any more disappointment. The world seems pretty dark...and then Kat steps up to the plate. She prays, she listens, she smiles, she laughs, she cares, she loves, she reaches out....she lights up the darkness. I didn't make the difference in our family I had hoped to make, but maybe she will.

Welcome Baby Jaden

This has been the year for babies! In one month, we have two new additions to our family. Analeigh made her debut 5 weeks early on December 22, and Jaden arrived yesterday at 8:31 am. We didn't get to be there when Analeigh was born as she was born in Alaska-a very long way from here! However, Jaden was born right here and what a welcoming party he had.

My sister went into labor early Sunday morning. She arrived at the hospital around 4 am; an hour later my brother and his wife arrived. We didn't get the message till 7 that morning (we don't sleep with our cell phones). We got dressed for church, grabbed a few dozen doughnuts, and headed to the hospital, arriving just a few minutes before he arrived. We all got to peek at him as he was wheeled down to the nursery, was able to check in on my sister, and watch the nursery workers weigh him, bathe him, take all the necessary measurements, and feed him for the first time. I took pictures, lots of pictures! :)

He is a big boy weighing in at 8 lbs 4 oz unlike his cousin who was only 4 lbs and 9 oz. He has two big brothers to teach him lots of fun things! [smile] Alex is with us, the younger of the two older, and was with us yesterday when we went back up to the hospital. He has been acting nonchalant until we walked into the room and he saw his mom holding Jaden. He wanted to hold him too! Too sweet....he is all tough on the outside but a softie on the inside-who is he kidding!?

Well...a year comes to a close in just a few days...a year that has been absolutely filled with every kind of heartache, every kind of wonder, and amazing joy! All I can say is Welcome Jaden and Analeigh to this family.

Traditions in the making

Sometimes traditions are handed down through generations, other times they kind of evolve quite unexpectedly. We are experiencing an overabundance of the later, ie...potato heads, theme trees, Three Kings, and Nerf wars!

We have had to rethink how we do holidays since our children are no longer the center of what we do. In the past, we mixed traditions from both of our families and added a few new ones here and there for the purpose of maintaining our heritage and establishing our home on a Christian foundation (new to our family which is lacking in Christian roots). We adopted the tradition of opening gifts on Christmas Eve from my husband's family, but not for the same reasons. His family used to get together with his grandmother on Christmas Day so Christmas Eve was the day his immediate family did their own Christmas. We did that too but so we could spend Christmas Day celebrating Christ's birthday. When the kids were little, we did a birthday cake for Jesus every year on Christmas Day. Since we didn't do presents on Christmas Day, the stockings were a big deal. I would stuff those Christmas Eve night and early Christmas morning sneak into their bedrooms and lay the stockings on their beds!

Steve and I have never done stockings for ourselves, but decided, or maybe I coerced him into agreement....that we should start doing stockings. We did that this year. He had to buy for me and stuff mine, and I his. I am a little more experienced with the venture than he his, but he is a quick study! We really had fun filling and opening our stockings, and can't wait to see how we grow in our "stocking stuffing " each year.

We started having groups over Christmas a few years back. I have never liked the idea of people spending the day alone. I looked around our church this year and was burdened by the number of people that are alone. We are so blessed in that we are only alone when we choose to be, otherwise there is an abundance of people that share our lives. We made some dear friends during Katherine's wedding and during the last few months, we have had opportunity to continue with those relationships. Christmas gave us another sweet time with some of our loved ones!

The Christmas of 20o5 we added our nerf gun war quite by accident. That year, Daniel, Robert, and Katherine were home for the last time together. Hard to believe it has been four years since all three of our children spent a holiday together. It was all young people that year, our three, Afton, and Jonathan. We didn't know what to do as far as gifts and somewhere in there decided on nerf guns. Christmas fell on a Sunday that year so we went to church, came home to have lunch, and then everyone opened their guns which prompted an ongoing nerf attack. They carried their guns with them everywhere they went that year. In 2006 Robert and Gabrielle were married so we spent Christmas in New York, but we did buy Gabrielle and Joe nerf guns when we got back which prompted a few scuttles during the holiday season. In 2007 my brother was with us, and I have no recollection of how we celebrated the holiday. In 2008, we had a group over which consisted of several single GI's. Nobody appreciates a nerf war like single GI's! That Christmas Eve, Steve and I were in Toys R Us stocking up on guns and ammo. (A funny memory...us...in line Christmas Eve...surrounded by all these parents with small children....and a cart full of nerf guns!) It exploded Christmas Day like no one could have imagined. That year Jon and Shawna joined our family. Tonia's boys were here Christmas evening and they too got nerf guns and joined in the chaos. (This year they didn't make the war, but we got them nerf tag so they could play.)

We were actually going to take a break from all that this year and have a lazy Christmas. Not so said the family and it turned out that we had about 20 here for Christmas dinner including a few new ones who ALL jumped in on the nerf attack. This war lasted for quite some time Christmas night. Us "older" women who didn't want to participate camped out in the den and tagged it the "safe zone." Well...someone mistakenly left a gun in there which prompted Kaylie and I to defend the zone. Before we knew it, the kids were giving us the flying ammo and we had quite a stash. We attacked anyone who came near us! That in turn prompted retaliation fire so the "safe zone" didn't turn out to be too safe, and they everyone wondered where all the ammo was going and confiscated our ammo! Days later-still picking up darts.

We didn't buy any guns for anyone this year, but everyone went out and bought bigger guns for themselves after last year's skirmish. This year, there were GUNS! Fun times, sweet memories, and a new tradition has been born. Next year, I am getting my own gun! Oh...and Willis family....we haven't forgotten!

Last Days?

I often wonder just what "last days" means...seems like we have been in the last days for about 2000 years now, but God's time is not relative to our time.



My husband and I have been making new commitments and trying to keep those commitments. We find that in the past we make decisions and last for just a minute-can't keep it up. Right now we are working on diet and exercise as well as growing together spiritually. We have been using a couples devotion for devotions before we go to bed and we are reading individually from the same book in the Bible. We are in 2 Timothy.



Sometimes reading confirms what I already know, other times it takes me by surprise, and yet other times it challenges my thinking altogether. I find it true that whoever looks into the "perfect law of liberty" should be changed in some way. That is the amazing thing about being a Christian; it isn't the outside but the inside that changes which in turn reflects on the outside. That inside is changed to produce fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance. Not that all of that is always visible, but we should be growing in them and I would like to think that we are.



In 2 Timothy 3 we are told what it will look like in the last days: Men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof

and then the exhortation: From such turn away 3:2-5

I read that considering and asking, are we there yet? I look around and wonder, how close are we? I know or have experienced first hand nearly everything on that list...and the longer I live, the more those verses ring true. This generation says and does things that were taboo for non Christians a few generations back, and yet...is accepted among Christians today. Hmmm....wonder what does God see from His perspective. How grieved He must be especially at the time of year when we celebrate His great gift of salvation. He provided deliverance, but not just deliverance from an eternity in hell, but also deliverance from a life lived contrary to the truth of His Word. Lord....give me ears to hear.

New Vocabulary

Our language is forever evolving....new words are continually being added. I have been told the English language vocabulary is the largest of any language. I believe it. I have been working with a new word "unfriending." It is not a very pretty word at all and certainly has negative connotations. Maybe it was purposefully designed to lay a guilt trip on us....to keep this illusion of social networking as a good thing.

Granted....it can be a good thing, but I find that for the most part it is a way to be nosey without really being involved in other people's lives. I pop in on someone else's profile, read a bit, glance through the pictures and leave no footprints. No one knows I was even there. It occurred to me that maybe that wasn't the point of networking. If our purpose is to connect with people, then communication is essential. I have to stop and say hello, leave an encouraging word or comment and pay attention to how I can be used in their lives. Our lives are connected and greatfully so.

After looking at our Facebook friend list, I realized that this was another area that needed to be paired down-we are doing alot of that right now, cleaning out, streamlining so to speak. I went through and asked myself if there was any real connecting going on with those on the list? Was the communication positive and productive? Were we really engaging in each other's lives or just peeking in? Many of those on the list we communicate through other avenues; many we don't communicate with at all. Some it is the only way I have of communicating with them. Those were the questions that determined who we unfriended...and in just a blink...we cut our list down by over 40 people, and I am sure there will be quite a few more to go.

Instantly I started getting messages and phone calls. I expected that, but for some, we haven't talked at all...NOW...they want to communicate. OK...hmmm.....I just have to ponder the implication of that!

I was telling a friend of mine when she commented on how mean that is, that our purpose is to communicate especially with those that we don't share our daily lives with and when that purpose isn't being fulfilled then there just isn't any point to it. I wouldn't keep it at all except there are a few people that we only communicate with through facebook, and those relationships are important to us. My brother hasn't called yet, and I am wondering if he will even notice that I cut him! As much as I love him, if he has time to play all these facebook games but no time to say hello to his sister or even tell her happy birthday, then he doesn't make the cut, and he didn't! Bet he never even realizes he doesn't see me on there.

Making life changes is necessary and making hard choices is part of those changes. My husband and I have to go forward, we have to use our time to the maximum, and social networking is only a positive when it builds connections. We learned new vocabulary....even if it isn't our favorite word...hopefully we will choose better and not have to make these kind of choices too often.