Whirlwind Week

I can tell we are getting old....cuz....we muster up the energy to really work and work hard for a few days and then we are down for the count! We worked so hard this past weekend tiling our breakfast room and getting my daughter's room dry laid, but then it was time for the work week to begin.

This has been a week. Monday started with a bang with the discovery that Kat has strep and mono. She has had a miserable week, not able to sleep or eat, or anything really. I weighed whether to kick into mom mode or let her be the adult. I tried the step back and let her be grown Sunday night, and made it till about 4 am Tuesday morning, but then I had to get up and take care of her. Next came contacting teachers, gathering her school work, making jello and soup, picking up Gatorade, and pep talks, lots of pep talks.

Next time she gets sick, I won't be as available. She will have to some how get through sick on her own....I am worried. Will she remember to drink fluids, make jello, balance her day between her energy levels, use a cold rag to calm herself, deep breathe to relax her body so she can go to sleep? What will she do when it isn't her but her baby, or her husband?

That...and my first test in my master's level class, classroom observations, a missionary lunch on Tuesday, Sylvan, basic housework, Taylor being admitted to the hospital, a funeral today....yep...it is already Friday and ask me what I have gotten done. All the above, but not much reconstruction.

Tonight...we are going to Logan's, maybe stop in at Lowe's, choose a grout color, pick up some more thin set so we can tile AGAIN all this weekend....hmmm...maybe our "agedness" will not hold us back from accomplishing even more this week!

Moment by Moment

This Saturday we went to our last wedding before our daughter's. Just her and I went in order to represent our family, since we really, really, really needed to work on our house this weekend. I figured that we could attend the wedding, only cost us about an hour, and get right back to work. Jon was over in the morning, did lunch with us, and then he took off to get some of his own stuff done. Steve worked away on getting ready to lay tile, and Kat and I went to a wedding. We get there a few minutes before, I sign Steve and I in, she signs Jon and her in (LOL). I find she is so much like me....oh reminds me....

That morning they were doing their computer class homework while Steve and I were laying blue tile board in our dining room. We could hear their conversation. He was reading the instructions, and she was attempting to follow the instructions. She was so impatient, and he was very calming! Steve and I were nearly hysterical. She sounded just like me, and he sounded just like Steve. I am so impatient when I am trying to do computer stuff, and Steve is so calm and controlled!!!

On the way to the wedding, we were chatting about stuff, came up to a traffic light. At the exact same moment without any forewarning-we both asked "got any gum?" That resulted in a burst of laughter which lasted quite a few moments.

Attending the wedding motivated Kat. She is that much more excited about hers being right around the corner. It also gave us an opportunity to take in the ceremony, what we liked, and what we didn't. We sat with dear friends of ours whose son was sitting right in front of me. In the middle he asked, "when is the food?" I leaned up in told him in about an hour, when all the pictures are done! His face dropped! He informed me that was what he only there for the food. I told him he could come to Kat's for the food, and he wouldn't have to wait till after the pictures, because I HATE THAT! Everyone standing around waiting and waiting and waiting.

It was an ordinary wedding-nothing stand outish. I think weddings should have personality, and there have been so few I have attended that I could see the bride all over it. Too many people to please or appease. Weddings should not be shrouded in conflict-should be fun, fun, fun! I am so thankful that Kat settled on simple, that she only has two bridesmaids and that they are her sweetest lifelong friends, that they chose their dresses and shoes together, that she has a simple elegant taste and has chosen almost everything she needs, that she has personality in abundance, and it will show! She is anything but ordinary, and her wedding will be anything but ordinary!

And....we are getting closer and closer, moment by moment....

Clearing Out

My daughter, who is a sentimentalist/packrat by nature, has started clearing her stuff out to get ready for her marriage. Most everything we own is packed in boxes in our sheds (as a result of our flood and reconstruction.) She has boxes and boxes of stuff she has collected her entire life. Cleaning out is no easy thing for her because each possession holds a special memory that she does not want to let go of!

I talked to one of my friends this past week. I called her because a tornado hit her neighborhood, and I wanted to check on her family. In the process of that conversation she told me about a yard sale her youth group was having this weekend. I asked her if she was taking donations, and they were. Ah Ha...somewhere for all this extra stuff to go, AND we get to help their youth group take a mission trip! Perfect!

The yardsale is today, so Kat and I worked on clearing out some stuff we didn't need yesterday. We spent a few hours going through boxes of her clothes, collectibles, notes and cards, little toys and trinkets. We sat in the driveway with stuff scattered all around us. It was certainly a trip down memory road! The funniest thing was her journals. She stumbled on an old journal from around the age of 12. In it, she was writing about a conversation she had had with Veronica, a "sister" to her for years. Vero had been asking her who she liked in the youth group. Kat said no one, but Vero pressed and asked if she had to live with one of them, who would it be? Kat answered Shawn ( a best friend's brother) because she thought she could handle him, but then she added: But not Joe, no not Joe! What makes that so funny is that five years later at 17, Joe would be her first love. She thought she would be marrying Joe. We all thought she would be marrying Joe. It seemed to have God all over it, but as it progressed, some things became apparent. She became frustrated at his lack of Spiritual leadership, and her inability to do anything about who he was. They came apart at the seams leaving her devastated for nearly a year. The next two relationships she would get involved with would be similar. The guy wasn't firm in his own beliefs and who he was was a stark contrast to who she is. We got through that time of her life, the wiser and the stronger as women, as mother and daughter, and as Christians.

God had a different plan, and His plan is a good plan. I am so thankful it has worked out the way it has. I am so thankful she is with Jon, and he is the right man for her. He is a man who can hold his own, is serious about his own faith and his own growth. He complements her and balances her, and she him. Our little trip down memory lane reminded us of where we have been, where we were headed, and what we needed to clear out. (Not done with the clearing out yet-just getting started!). The journey makes the new life before her so much more real and so much more closer!

These last moments are sweet moments, but sobering. My daughter will be married in a few short months. I won't wake up in the morning with her here. I won't hear her laughter every day or see her eyes sparkle. She is right-I am going to miss her.

Change, Change, Change....Letting Go

There is so much change in my life all the time! I confess that I don't do change well. I like routine, same-o stuff. I used to have my routine down to an art-my preflood days. Now I kind of drift and attempt to get something done in the morning. Some days I am successful, and some days I am not. I would be better at it, if I was following a routine, but in my current position-seems impossible.

This is definitely another change time in my life. It is a continual lesson in letting go. When I go to the prison ministry, one of the whiteboards in our meeting room has the Serenity Prayer written on it. It is a reminder to them, and to me, to change what you can and accept what you can't!

This reminder was punctuated yesterday as I took a few moments to start a new book my husband just read, Sheet Music. My husband is much better at change than I am and is always looking for ways to improve himself. He has spent our marriage reading marriage books. I have read, let me count, 2. In my defense, I have read lots of Christian living, mothering, wife books, but not so much specific books on marriage and the intimacy of that relationship. I wasn't a few pages into the first chapter when I knew I needed to make a change. The question then arises in my mind how? Will we get through this phase of our life, not just the part where it is just him and I, but the reconstruction of the house during this particular time of our life. The house is so much work, all the time. Did we really want to rebuild it at a time when we should be traveling, seeing the world together, popping in on the kids and grandkids, the fun stuff?

At last....not much choice there. We have to rebuild the house. To do less would be ludicrous, but finding a way to do that, everything else in our life, and grow our relationship.....how do we do that ALL at one time! Looks like I need to let go of some things and make some changes. Only so much time in one day!

A Weekend in Oklahoma

This weekend we took a short jaunt to Oklahoma, my first visit to Sooner country. (I only know it is Sooner country because my soon to be son-in-law is determined to educate me in the art of OU football and believe me there was no shortage of Sooner fans there!).

We went to meet Jon's parents and brothers. In a recap...Jon is the middle child with an older brother and younger brother. Katie, my daughter and his soon to be blushing bride, is the baby with two older brothers. They were both raised as homeschoolers/private schoolers, have a lot in common, being raised very similarly. I found myself with a lot in common with Jon's parents.

He had filled me in so I knew a little before I got there. His dad had a stroke a few years back forcing his mom to become the family provider. He told me she was nervous meeting us. I was a little nervous too, but quickly got over that. I was a little hesitant spending an entire afternoon with people I did not know, but knew it was important. Jon was so excited about being home and getting to introduce Katie to his family as well as being able to show her around his turf.

Talking to his mom, I was struck by her strength. Here she is in her empty nesting years trying to deal with the hand life has dealt her. We never know what lies before us. In a moment life can turn in a direction we never dreamed possible. Sometimes I really stop and ask myself the "what if" questions. A dear friend of mine lost her husband at the age I am right now. What would I do if I was suddenly widowed? What would I do if my husband had a stroke and was no longer able to provide for us? I would like to think that I would have the same strength of character that these women I admire have.

This weekend was also my last Easter with my daughter at home. It was my last Easter basket adventure for my children [sigh]. I have loved doing Easter baskets all these years and look forward to sharing that with grandchildren. ( I did get to do one for my grandson and my sweet Caitlyn this year-but they are still too small to appreciate the fun in it!). My daughter told me I needed to go all out since it was my last one! LOL...don't know that I did that, but it was fun to do these for Kat and Jon. They wore their outfits home (I didn't do Easter outfits for either of them-they got sweats instead!).

We had a full weekend, and we are tired! I am lazing around today, having done nothing so far but watch Runaway Bride with my daughter [smile], check the laundry, and pick up a bit. I have to work today, and of course reconstruction calls, but somehow that doesn't seem all that important now! Gee, might be time to take stock, re-evaluate my priorities, and live. Live with a purpose that surpasses this temporal moment and takes in the big picture.

Mature Thinking

ThoughtsWeek of 08/08/05
"I could be wrong."
Mature thinking involves realizing that we can never be 100% accurate in how we interpret another's thoughts, words, or behavior. Even if we are 99% sure, there is always a 1% chance we are wrong. Thus, we must adopt a more humble, tentative attitude about the accuracy of our mind reading, and its resulting negative conclusions. We must ask ourselves if we might be being overly negative in our interpretation of our loved one's actions. Or we might have misunderstandings stemming from differences in their perspectives—and is not the result of some negative trait of the other person. (Smalley Relationship Center Online)

http://smalleyonline.com/articles/truth/thoughts.html

Mature thinking??? Hmmm...does mature thinking come with maturity?

My brother called the other day. He is having struggles with his marriage and his children. His kids are early teens (and the fun begins!). We were chatting about that-him sharing where he is at-me trying to encourage him. In that conversation, a transformation took place in me that must have been bubbling up for some time. I had NO answers for him! All I could tell him was that I didn't know, but I could pray for him. There was a day when I thought I did know. There was a day when I would have spouted off all the should do's, could do's, and of course what I did...but now my children are grown, and I honestly have no idea. I was wrong about so many things. We have spent the better half of the last few years, we being my husband and I, questioning what we did and what we could have done differently. I have looked around at other families we grew up with. Their children are grown too, some married, some not, but most of us would say that it didn't turn out the way we thought it would. Our kids aren't who we thought we were raising them to be. I did this Bible study once which had a section on child raising. It was called, "Your Baby Has The Bents." Children are born with a bent towards ___________. Fill in the blank.

I don't know if all the positive enforcement, all the moral training, all the freedom we gave them to explore who we thought they were (guitar lessons, Civil Air Patrol, 4H, piano lessons, sports activities, etc...) mattered much. They are who they are, which psychologists say was established before the age of 12. (Makes we wonder what we were doing from age 12 t0 18!). Mature thinking....maturity doesn't necessarily come from age, does it? I know older people who aren't very mature, so does mature thinking just happen as we age? Is it on purpose? More importantly, am I there yet?????

Marriage, Marriage, Marriage

What an amazing thing! Our Pastor started a new series last night on marriage. I was so amazed at the timing of it. Here we are about to embark on a new phase of our marriage as our daughter prepares to begin her new life separate from us. She and I will be spending our last few months together learning how to live in a beautiful marriage! Wow! Wow! and Wow! I love our Pastor! I love his sense of following God's leading, because we need this teaching at this time!

He began in Genesis and jumped around a bit-introducing God's plan for marriage and why we should study it. My favorite verse we looked at is in Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun."

His point being that marriage is God's love gift to us. God illustrates His grace in marriage and pictures Christ's love for the church through the institution of marriage. Marriage should be a joyful thing; it is our portion, the best life has to offer. No matter how successful we are in any other area, education, business, whatever....marriage is where it matters! Yea.....so glad for my husband, his continual desire to improve our relationship, his teachable spirit, and his unconditional love for me! I love him! I am so excited....we are ending one phase, starting another, and what a way to launch us into our empty nest-a new perspective, a new look, another reminder on the value of marriage!

Calendar Check

For some reason, I could not sleep last night. My husband and I fought over the space, and neither of us wanted the other to go without sleep! (Are we going to be one of those old couples that can't sleep in the same bed? Goodness...HOPE NOT!).

I woke up doing a calendar check in my head....it is April...UGH. We have so much to do before August, is it even possible!? It is going to take some real effort to keep focused, get stuff done, and not seriously stress over it!

We might of made a little more progress yesterday, but....and here it comes...the excuse. I was feeling a bit froggy and free yesterday so called my sweet hubbie on my way to work. "Honey, whatcha think about going to grab something to eat after I get off work?" After all, our only child here was working ,which left us all alone for the evening. He was game; so we went to one of our favorites, Logan's. I did order something I could bring home to my daughter [smile ;)] While we were sitting there chatting, my hubbie suggested we should run out to see my brother. We hadn't been out there in awhile-ya know, to visit the other side of the family! So we did. To make a long story short, after all that, we came home and watched Open Season with our daughter. I sat there thinking, "Are we really sitting here at 10 pm on a weekday night watching a cartoon movie?"

So much for making progress on the flood repair last night!