How Time Changes Everything

We are all bound by time, and time certainly has dominion in our lives. We can't control it, stop it, or get it back-once it is gone, it is gone.

I spent the afternoon cleaning out pictures which had been piling up on the laptop. While checking mail, and organizing pictures, I got a post that Robert's picassa album had been updated. I popped in over there to check out the new photos. My goodness how much Aaron has grown in a year. He looks so much like a little boy and so much less like a baby.

I know that is supposed to happen, after all, I watched that with my own children. However, you don't seem to notice the growth as much when you witness the little steps every day. It is when you don't see them for awhile then all of a sudden you do (or a picture of), and just have to step back and go wow!

Time...it changes everything. I don't feel old (most days), but sometimes I see a picture of me at just the right angle and think...getting older! My age used to be marked by my kids' birthdays, now it might be marked by my grandson's birthdays. He is already 2! That makes me two years older too!

Mixed Emotions

So many days are defined by just that-mixed emotions. The last few days we have been getting our laundry room finished, baseboards up and painted, tidbits we need to be wrapping up-and glad to be getting that done. It has been such a busy past year that I have neglected to do some basic things that need to be done, ie...go to the dentist.

Yesterday I made bunches of appointments which means my next few weeks are full! We are also working on the pets. I got up and gave the cat a bath today (He really didn't appreciate that much) and took Pedro to the vet. He was due for his annual shots and so needed to be groomed. We also made a pit stop by the car dealer to drop off the jeep for repairs and pick up the rental which wasn't available yet. That was a bummer. After all of that, detoured by the pet store to pick up pet supplies. We got home, ate lunch, and treated the dogs for fleas. Several hundred dollars later, I was feeling very sad for the me and the dogs. We made a decision not too long ago that we had to find homes for them. We just can't continue to carry this much weight. Three dogs, birds, and a cat are too time intensive and too much money invested. The birds went quickly and now we are looking for homes for the dogs.

I had finally come to terms with the idea that it would be easier to find a home for Maggie than Pedro. She is younger and easier going. He is not outgoing, quite timid around strangers and too old to be adopted out. I can't send him to his death, so hence, Maggie needs a home. The mixed emotion part-Maggie is my dog. She is the only one of the three that is mine. I rescued her as a puppy and cared for her, believing the other two would go with their owners-which didn't happen.

She ran up to me today with those big pleading eyes and was so sweet. I cuddled her, gave her a good tummy rub and fought back tears.

Blurred Vision

My optometrist told me a few years back that something happens around the age of 40 to our eyes. We lose the ability to change focus from near to far. My hubbie hit that magic age before me and now wears bifocals or his "one" contact. Well...trying to read for my college classes has been just a bit challenging today. I wasn't able to refocus my eyes and had to keep taking my classes off to read. Then...had to put them back on to see across the room. Exasperating. Now my eyes are really tired (all that back and forth today) and I need to go to bed, but didn't quite finish what I needed to...wondering if I can pull it off in the morning??? I am also wondering. Gee, we are in the empty nest time of our lives, and I am having trouble seeing. Where is the fun in that?

For better or worse, sickness or health, sight and the lack thereof...honey...you still look good to me (what I can see of you that is!)

Loving the New Look

Sometimes I am so lazy...at least that is when it comes to finding answers to my questions. That is where my hubbie comes in. He is really resourceful. I kept trying to figure out how everyone gets all this extra stuff on their blogs. I was using a standard template, but it really didn't represent us very well. My husband set about looking for the solution, and of course, he figured it out. He showed me the options and we chose a beach, because WE LOVE THE BEACH. (I could share a few stories here, but better leave those private!)

Then the header...I created the header by scanning some old photos and making a postcard in Smilebox. We then saved the image and inserted it as a picture in the header box (after some resizing). First attempt showed half my head only! My techno savy hubbie fixed that pretty quick.

So...here I am adding, editing, and creating a space that really represents us, our family, and the resources that are making a difference in our lives.

Under Construction

My hubbie and I are currently reworking our blog site. He is the technical guru, and I, well I, suppose I am the creative genius. Please be patient while we make some changes!

Logan's

It has been way too long since we had a "Logan's" date! Logan's is one of our favorite places to go...no real reason, except for it is cozy and one of those places we just sit and sit and sit (much to our waiters' dismay!), eat peanuts, drink sweet tea, and discuss whatever comes to mind! It isn't a quick go get a bite to eat place for us, but a serious sit down, take as long as you want place. (We have been known to close them down!)

We haven't been out together (except IHop) since before the wedding. Those weeks prior we were so busy with wedding arrangements and family coming in that we didn't have such sweet luxuries! Last night was my first night of class for this term, and when I came home, I popped in, batted my eyes, flirted (just a tad) and talked my hubbie into changing out of his work (home improvement clothes) and take me to Logan's.

We had to commemorate the moment, so after we ate, I jumped out of my side of the 2 man booth and squeezed beside him. It took a few practice rounds with his iphone before we got a good shot, but here we are-snuggling and cozy-in our favorite date spot! I love my hubbie, still, actually more, after all these years...especially when his blue eyes twinkle mischievously at me from across the table!

Home Improvements

I know, I know...fourth blog entry today. No, don't have THAT much time on my hands. I am actually sitting in my bed next to my hubbie who incidentally is reading my blogs on his iphone while I am browsing around on the web. I was actually reading some Gary Smalley articles, and one caught my attention.

My husband and I have been remodeling our home now for about a year and a half. Much of our time is spent either building, fixing, or discussing how to build and how to fix. Our conversations are monopolized by such things as: What tub to buy, is that flooring going to hold, you sure left a big gap for me to caulk, is that primed and ready to be painted, etc...Many couples have told us that they would have killed their spouse had they of had to remodel an entire house together under such drastic circumstances. Admittedly, there have been moments when it was just a little bit tense, but all in all, we have grown closer because of it. This article I caught just a sec ago was about home improvement, so I have to share it, because it so fit us!!! (except for the part about a conservatory-none of that in our house plans!)

Increase your marital satisfaction through home improvements
Posted on 08 August 2007.

Home improvements might not sound like a good way to help your marriage be stronger, but you might be surprised. There are actually several ways home improvements can help your marriage. First, you get to go through the trauma of home improvements together. Going through anything difficult always brings couples closer together, especially when they see the difficulty as an opportunity to grow. Secondly, you can create a space for the two of you to simply “hang” out and relax together. Anglian products actually has these really cool Conservatory items that allow you to enjoy the outdoors without having to deal with the bites and other irritations of being outdoors (Like if you live in Houston and you don’t want to be attacked by the killer squadrons of mosquitoes!).

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures

(James, my brother, coloring with his daughter, Hailey at the rehearsal dinner.)

We had wedding color sheets, crayons, and cards on the tables during the rehearsal. It was fun to watch

everyone coloring and having such a good time!

 

(Left: Caitlyn peering out the window of Olde Oaks during the rehearsal. Aunt Doreen kept was keeping an eye on her. Right: Don't know, Bro. Ronnie said something funny to Kat and Jon)

(We practiced exiting twice. Left: Steve and I making our exit up the walkway. Right: Kat and Jon dancing out theirs!)

It has been about 3 weeks now since the wedding, and the pictures are coming in. Our photographer came to our family/friends/bridal party barbecue, the rehearsal and dinner, and the wedding. He told us he shot about 800 pictures. So far he has given us two disks with a total of just over 400 pictures up through most of the rehearsal dinner.

He has really got some fun shots, and we are enjoying going through all of those. It is going to be tough to narrow them down for an album, and choose pictures to add to their video which will go out to the family members. One of the things that characterized this entire experience was laughter. Jon and Kat radiate joy, and it is infectious. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Some of my favorite pictures are the laughing ones!

(We had rehearsal at sunset and it was absolutely gorgeous! Made us rethink the morning wedding idea!)

(This one was taken at the barbecue. Big Smiles)

(This is Tami and Noah, also present at the barbecue. She was such a blessing to me that night, and this is one of my favorite pictures of her and Noah so far!)

The Question?

I could not begin to tell you how many times in the last two weeks someone has asked how we are handling the "empty nest?" I have to laugh...handling? Seriously...are people really that wrapped up in the lives of their children that they go into melt down when they move out? Is that because they forgot that they only had their children for a little while and then they had to live with each other? How sad that is to me!

My husband and I have spent a lifetime working on our relationship because we knew there would be a day when it would be him and I again. Sitting around our table the other night, Steve, Tonia, and I discussing relationships and traditions...Tonia commented that we (Steve and I) are the topic of many discussions. That we actually have a marriage that works-that was an incredible compliment to us! Didn't have any idea so many were watching. We do indeed have a marriage that works, and it wasn't easy getting here. We love and respect each other, struggle with communicating just like everyone else, but choose to commit to each other and to live in such a way that we are constantly changing.

The inbetween years of raising children wasn't really about raising children, it was about raising adults. We raised our kids to live as independent adults. There was an adjustment period where we had to come to terms that they weren't who we thought they were. We of course went through disillusionment as our dreams (maybe I should say-fantasies) were shattered. The ones that we had bought into all those years that if we did "A" our children would do "B." Yea, right...don't buy into that one-it aint' gonna happen. It didn't end the way we thought it would, and it isn't exactly the way we would want it to be even now, but it is what it is. They are adults, living their lives as they choose to live them...we shared our lives with them for 20+ years, now it is up to them whether they want to share theirs with us. Either way...we are still living...

Speaking of sharing, we were greatly blessed by our new son-in-law on rehearsal dinner night when he got up and gave a mini speech telling everyone how he met our family and what he thought about us. He complimented our relationship-and we were blessed. They kept in touch with us while they were on their honeymoon, sharing pictures with us of their adventures. They also spent the better part of the weekend with us. We were encouraged by their desire to spend some of this labor day weekend with us before real life kicks in! Everyone is back at work today and back at school this week!

We haven't lived our married life for anyone else, but we have lived, and we have thoroughly enjoyed each other. When we crawl into bed at night, cuddle next to each other, and often talk about all kinds of stuff, I know I am a blessed woman, and I know that being married to my best friend has been what has carried me through every twist and turn these past 26 years!

We look forward to this fall when we are going to run away here and there...discover some new things about life and each other! How are we handling our empty nest? No handling required....we have been preparing for over 2o years for this moment and we were ready!

Regaining Intimacy

Intimacy is so much more than physical touch. This new era in my life has me thinking about communication. Learning to communicate in such a way that both parties hear what is being said is just not that easy. People go into conversations with preconceived notions and have opinions of their own so in reality-very little listening is going on.

I find that to be true in many of my relationships, on my end, and on the other party end. I have something I want to say so I am trying to get it out, and the other person is doing the same thing. We aren't really communicating-we are listening to our own ideas.

My husband and I are learning to rethink the way we live. We are changing the way we interact. This is a time for that kind of reflection. Where have we been? Who are we? What do we want to be as individuals and for each other? I ask these questions of myself because I know that so much of our life has been focused on other people, not on each other. We have continually struggled to make our personal relationship a priority when the demands of life pull us in so many other directions.

This empty nest....that is what it is about...Him and I. Us. Not what others want or need from us or for us, but what we want and need from each other. Marriage is an honorable estate, second only to our relationship with God. With that in mind, nothing else should take precedence. In our relationship EVERYTHING else has been important, raising our children, supporting their endeavors, financing them AND their endeavors, extended family members and their situations, serving others that God allows in our life, ministries...I could go on, but in allowing those demands to take a front row seat, we have lacked in meeting some of each other's basic needs...but we recognize that, and we are regrouping. We are turning our hearts back towards each other. The other things...they have always been there....and always will....they can wait.