Life Management

Just finished Life Management for Busy Women; it took a ridiculous amount of time for me to read it, but the title says it all! My mission this past year has been about prioritizing and managing my time (which by the way the author says we can't really manage time, but we can manage ourselves and how we use our time). I have been talking about balance for years now-but achieving it? Not so easy. I am finding myself in this period of life where I am looking back, looking in, and looking up.

Looking back-that has been filled with sadness, regret, sweet memories, and joy. Our faith has teetered in that area of our lives-because, we believed if we did A, B, and C, then the result would be D, E, and F...but it wasn't, so then the questions, " who is to blame?" Our faith was shaken to the core, and had it not been for God, we would have absolutely hit bottom. No matter how hard I searched, I just couldn't get past the hurt I was feeling during the last few years of my life, until I realized that if I could see everything, where would the need for faith be? God wants my trust even when I can't see or make sense of my life.

Looking in- asking alot of questions, like, "what am I doing?" "What should I be doing?" "...the point?" Must be middle age crisis...whatever it is, I know that my heart's desire is to live my life according to God's plan. The issue is finding His plan in the midst of everything else clouding my view. I am trying to hear Him and follow Him, but getting the priorities of my life in order (that has been rather challenging too).

Looking up-trusting in God to reveal Himself as I seek Him, and not only me personally but knowing and trusting in the truth of God's Word as it applies to people I love. He does promise that His Word will not return void. I hope in Him, not in the circumstances that surround me, not in religion, not in what I can do, but in what He can do.

Parenting is certainly not for cowards (it connects really...it is the area we are looking back on which results in us looking in and looking up!) Not one single thing throughout our entire adult life has impacted us more than having children...nothing...and now we watch other parents interact with their children, and we can see so clearly. Somehow it is so much easier to see from this angle! We notice that parents way too often don't have balance-discipline when need be, but positive and encouraging as well-more positive and less negative. Parents tend to spend more time lifting up their kids' good points to everyone but their kids. The kids hear the "do this" and "don't do this," not the "I am proud of you" stuff. We are guilty too-did that. Spent more time bragging about our kids to everyone but them...just didn't tell them enough... we love you and are proud of the independent accomplished people you are.

Time for Reflection and Traditions

The holidays are also like that-get out the old decorations, look through old photos, and just remember what it used to be like. We have had many traditions throughout the years, some came and stayed for awhile, others took permanent root.

This weekend we cleaned and cleaned and cleaned as we tried to get some rooms together and get some much needed stuff put away. We don't have a place for everything (the remodel) so stuff tends to pile up all over the place (about drives me nuts). There are moments when I HAVE TO put it somewhere. This weekend was that time.

I picked up a classified ad on Thursday and browsed through it...found a lateral file for sale, and I called immediately. I was so excited. I had been looking for one of those and pricing them-a bit pricey new. This one I got for $30, and it is perfect. We painted, put together the day bed, washed curtains, touched up walls and baseboards, and organized. Yay-organization! The office looks great, might I say myself, and the living room is about together too. I haven't unpacked everything, but it is getting there.

Steve brought in the Christmas tree, put it up, and plugged it in. It is working except for a strand of lights..hmm...asked Steve if he could figure that one out-we will see. We had family over yesterday for a dinner, and I was talking to my sister-in-law. Last year, her and I decorated this tree together. I asked her if she wanted to do that again which prompted a discussion about baby Jesus.

Years and years and years ago, I got this fabric nativity set. I read about holiday traditions and one had talked about hiding baby Jesus from the nativity set to re-enforce the need for us to be looking for Jesus every day. We started doing that when the kids were all at home. Sometimes they (the kids) hid it very well! Daniel would really come up with some hiding places (I think it was him that hid Jesus in an a/c vent!). We have kept up that tradition every year. People who come over start randomly flipping over couch cushions, looking under books, behind shelves, etc...to find baby Jesus. The rule is, if you find him, you have to rehide him. The last one to hide him before Christmas puts him back in the manger on Christmas morning.

We missed last year because of the construction. We are far from done with the construction, but the house is certainly more livable (no more open studs). Next week, Kat and I are going to get down the Christmas decorations, sort through all that stuff so she can take hers with her, separate those that need to go to Daniel and Robert, and find baby Jesus. We aren't doing much in the way of gifts this year for Christmas, but really...not about "stuff," about Jesus.

Really thankful for family traditions, for opportunities to make a difference in lives, for sweet memories....and I wonder, which traditions have my children adopted in their own lives?

Never Say Never

I have heard my own words echo in my ears quite a few times now...."I am never moving again." After years and years of military life and all that packing, unpacking, and moving, once we moved into this house, all I wanted to do was put down roots, do some work on this one, and sit back and enjoy it.

Work-we have; not much sitting, but and except for the low moments it has been an adventure-enjoyable? Mostly. We are unpacking boxes right now to start putting the living room back together. There are boxes everywhere, much of which has to be repacked because the first packing job was kind of haphazard (that happens when you have to pack in a hurry). I haven't "moved" in the sense of the word, but the entire house has been packed, unpacked, and repacked quite a few times this past year. We go looking for something we haven't seen in a year and have to sort boxes to find it. In the process we discover stuff we forgot we owned and have no idea what we are doing with.

The book boxes are the ones I am sorting through right now. Those boxes contain a hodgepodge of old textbooks, math and literature books, accounting books, reference material, college notes, kid books, Christian fiction and nonfiction, and....photo albums and scrapbooks. Of course, I had to sit and browse. I looked back through all those pictures of our family-the shared moments-the growing together-remembering those years and years and years we spent traveling to see family, stopping off at places like the USS Kidd, Saint Augustine, and the Kennedy Space Center.

I grew up going absolutely nowhere doing absolutely nothing with my family. I can't recall one thing we really did together. We lived in the same house, but lived independently. My parents dropped me off or I caught a ride. Until Steve, until we were married, life was pretty nonadventuresome....but now....every day is an adventure...life is full....we do everything together....including pack and unpack a house we are seriously never planning to move out of...but I am not saying NEVER!

Taking Stock

This is definitely one of those times in life where we are "taking stock." It is a time to decide what is important to us as a couple and what is not. We spend alot of our time together talking and planning. Of course we are still deep in a house remodel and it looks like this might be a hobby of ours for quite some time! We will be wrapping up the inside of the house within the next six months but then...there is the outside (which has been deteriorating from neglect while we work on the inside!)

We sit and we ponder. We evaluate our resources, our time, our money, our talents-how do we want to use them? Interestingly enough in one week, we had a discussion with both our son and son-in-law about wills and life insurance. We just underwent medical testing to change insurance policies. We have had this policy for quite some time, but just learned a few months back that it is an accidental death policy. Hmmm...works if we die in a car accident, but...cancer? Nope. So that isn't going to work. Plan B: Get a new policy. We are also talking about our will. We haven't updated that since our children were all at home and our primary concern was their well being. That (howbeit still a concern) is no longer our responsibility. So here we are....

Discussing remodeling options, pricing bath tubs because our bathroom is next (yippee), juggling day to day activities, planning trips for just the two of us (San Antonio in two weeks...another YIPPEE!), discussing life insurance and wills.

Branson, Finally!

After multiple attempts to take a trip to Branson, we finally made it, but not without a few bumps. We arrived last Thursday evening about 5:30 pm, got settled in our hotel room, took a quick survey of the city, and found a place to eat. While sitting there, enjoying our shrimp, the phone rang.
Our house was flooding again. Tonia was scrambling and Jon and Kat were on their way. We called my brother who also made his way. That was the most helpless feeling-trying to communicate by phone, 7 hours away, while our house was in danger. I felt horrible that we couldn't do anything but wait while our family was hard at work to secure everything. They did an amazing job by the way, and for the most part very little was lost. Our house itself didn't flood this time, but the yard and shed did. Water rose to about 2 ft (half of its height last round)-just enough to get in the main shed and soak everything in there.
That is how we spent our Thursday evening, watching the weather, waiting for phone calls and praying the water level would diminish. Friday morning we get another call, one of the dogs has attacked the cat. My, my, we were about to regret leaving the city! My brother carried the cat to the vet who spent the weekend kennelled. To make a long story short-all turned out well. The cat survived; our budget did not. I feel like I am working to pay vet bills right now. We can't seem to get ahead on those, and then...got a reminder card that Maggie is due for shots. She is so going to have to wait!
Despite all of the distractions, we had a great time. We took a train ride, drove to Springfield to visit the Bass Pro there, sat in the hotel hot tub way past midnight, and visited the Titanic museum-all must sees in my book.
In just a few weeks we are off again to San Antonio, and can't wait for that one either. Maybe this time we will be barred any disasters, natural or otherwise!